Bit stonned – contains oversharing, bad grammar, and spelling
Trans women in sport has been a hot topic this week after comments made by Sharron Davis and given I was born a hermaphrodite and transitioned late in life I think I’m more than entitled to an opinion.
Firstly people need to stop lumping Intersex athletes and Trans athletes together and here’s why.
A trans woman has lived as a man, they are altogether ordinary in the eyes of Disorders of Sexual Development (DSD), someone with a DSD as with myself and Caster Semenya are medically different to transwomen.
The only reason I refer to myself as a trans woman on occasion and within the debate is that at birth I had a my female organs removed and I lived as a man although not quite, it’s easy to assume that the close the hole leave the pole medical outlook would fix the issue but when something like that is in your genetics you know that your body is wrong. Doctors say we have no memory of this and it won’t affect us but it does. If you take a mans leg off he still feels it.
If the medical professionals way back when I was born had taken my cock I feel I would have still had the same body issues because when I started to fix the issues created when the surgeons butchered me I was asked the outcome I wanted, I said I’d like the vagina back that the NHS took from me and leave my cock where it is. They refused and went through the treatment pathway followed by transwomen; I transitioned and had my vagina re-instated.
The IAAF and the other sports bodies have made an error in their calculations, prior to my cycling crash I tried to get a project off the ground, it was prior 2016 and I sent emails out to everyone and two where honest enough to tell me that doing that research would cause them too much stress with the backlash.
A trans woman on twitter suggested the HRT program reduces bone density, it doesn’t, it also doesn’t magically make you catabolic and melt away muscle, it doesn’t make your heart or lungs smaller
I went into transition 52 lbs heavier than when I came out this was lost because I basically starved myself for two years living on cottage cheese, celery, multi vits and salmon. You would think your body can’t manage on that but it can, modernity has made you soft. We are hunter gatherers our bodies are amazingly adaptable. Living in a constant catabolic state is ketone central. Obviously even if you look at biological athletic women and that’s basically the body I have.
If I’d have kept going to the gym and eating as I did I would have quite easily kept everything I had and everything I had was made in The British Army, I was quite handy, I was a doorman at one point for a few years and I think violence is engrained in us, it’s just some of us learn skills around it.
Some take my trainingpeaks date and compare it, I’ll send you the WKO4 file.
Socially I was always awkward, I put that down to the sexual abuse as a child but when I was in my mid 30s and going to therapy to deal with this body issue I have behind my girlfriends back because we’ve been together so long, we have the wonderful shared life and I love like mad, but this thing inside me won’t go away, I was losing my fucking mind.
I go to the quack explain how I’m feeling, I want some downers or something because I’m mentally running at a million miles and hour, I’m self medicating heavily through the day and I fall apart. I end up in a psyche ward, everything comes out about me being a hermaph and the therapist and that I’m going to transition.
In that instant my life imploded. Friends scattered, I lost my job and I was now living in hostel in Brixton, crazy times right? Just imagine if the doctors made the other choice, I think that thought quite a lot, I wish I was wasn’t so dateless but that’s the consequence, but other than not having kids I’m happier in my little andro bubble than I ever was, life didn’t get magically better but it’s nice to be happy in my own skin.
Most people see me as a man, I get called sir in shops and on the phone, I’m cool with that my andro groove is my birth condition I suppose.
Sharron suggested chromo testing as a “ just throwing this out their question” and I don’t mind that, but you do the guys too and you have a process in place to deal with the event that an athlete who thinks they’re one thing really finds out they aren’t and they lose their shit.
Personally I think chromo testing at birth for everyone would be awesome, can you imagine how society would lose it’s mind over the variety, the religious right would have a total brain fart, that would be awesome.
I really do feel for those women in this time that have to run against Caster, but if you think how rare she is, this is just bad timing for them, every sport has an MVP and no matter what natural advantage a woman might have over the field I can’t agree with drugging someone just so they can go to work.
It doesn’t matter what the governing bodies feel and the trans community feel about the science, bad science is still bad science.
Before my cycling accident I used to go to the MMA place in the gym up the street and go get punched in the face for a bit, I sparred men basically because if I sparred a woman I think I’d probably fuck her shit up and I still have old fashioned male manners of never hitting a woman, I’m also a door opener .
I don’t have a solution but I won’t be told by people who have never really done anything athletic how and athletic body works based and reductive numbers because the people really aren’t interested in doing a full study.