I started writing this before the DCMS report came out.

People still snipe at Wiggo from the margins jiffy this, hayfever that, SKY MADE YOU!!!!

When the bruhaha around Wiggo took off a little part of me died. There’s a feeling that Wiggo traded when he won the tour, while he got to be the guy that won, i got to be in a crowd full people half slaughtered, screaming my tit’s off in the way a Geordie bird can after a bit of gin in France.

That day was one of those days that you can feel when you think about it, I have the same sensation when i think about scuba diving with manta rays or off my twat watching Oasis at Knebworth. To some that might seem outlandish but cycling has been part of my life long enough to that I remember lifting money from mums purse to buy a copy cycling weekly on the way to school, i never did get into smash hits and i wasn’t cool enough for NME but for me being in France for that was better than pilling my face off in Ibiza on the sun terrace feeling fabulous and kissing my girlfriend.

The thought that Wiggo could be dirty didn’t just meen he could tarnish his Tour win but it would ruin that memory, that fucking huge moment. It wasn’t just that a Brit won the tour but it was the right Brit what won it and while in that moment, tall, lean, and killing it with sideburns and Paul Smith cycling was cool; if there was a pinnacle of male cycling cool that was it.

In this lull between Brad and Froome I found myself sending Brad an DM on Instagram, I didn’t expect it to be read, reading the comments that get left under some of Brads social media I felt the need to apologise for some of the hurtful things I’d said, even though, yet again I’m sure they went unnoticed but I felt uneasy about how I’d expressed my disappointment.

I explained how my perspective had evolved to now seeing him as firmly pushed under the bus and I don’t know if it was him or not but I got a reply, I’d like to think that as a man who misses the accessibility of cycling to the fans that it would have been him.

Today the report dropped and it’s not nice to read and I find myself in a mental pickle but it’s not over brad but the wide cycling situation. Since the big doping events we’ve been led to believe that cyclists dope, cycling teams don’t and every dirty rider had been hoofed off the team as soon as the B sample fails but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Thing is I can imagine Brailsford with that vein popping in forehead screaming in Freemans face, Freeman doesn’t seem the type of resolute chap needed to stand up to someone like Brailsford. I can’t imagine Brad shooting up. I’m sure at some point I’ll be mocked as a Sky fangirl, which I’m not, some might have a pop for what they see as my ability to suspend my disbelief.

If we look at the emotional disconnect that dopers have, Marion Jones until she broke down after her B sample failed, Lance and his deadpan delivery, who seems remarkably like Froome in his delivery and Brailsford in his, compared to Brad in the Roan interview he looks like an angry man. There will be those who say he brought it on himself and quote Shane Suttons comments on ethics, pardon me but I won’t take ethics lessons from a sexist prick kicked out of British sport because he lacks the fundamental respect for anyone not white, male, or non para.

I see Sutton as just having a kick at the British side of the sport while he sucks on a lemon with a face like he’s chewing a wasp.

I want to believe in Brad so I choose to, in the same way that people who want to slam him on social media choose to do that and people might ask me about proof and how can I believe, it’s simple people believe in religious texts and they can’t be proved either.


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