Rejected for the right reason.

I found a coach, well actually there are a few coaches I’ve been speaking too and they all offer something different and I’ve been at different stages of the engagement process when communication stops for various reasons.

Talking to coaches isn’t a natural thing to me, there’s always that slight bit of trepidation were I fear the voice on the end of the phone telling me to stop being stupid and knitting would be a better option.

I’ve had coaches tell me that they have no experience of spinal issues and would feel comfortable, some say that they don’t have the understanding and perhaps I should try XYZ. This week I hit the wall of integrity while learning that I could well have misjudged things.

I approached Cyclism and during that phone call I was left feeling genuinely excited and I waited for the engagement form, filled it in and sent it back and waited. Of course rather disappointingly, but totally understandably they declined and for the best of reasons.

While I have this pain management package available from the NHS I’m not taking it favouring self medication using weed and regardless of the justification, it’s still illegal and the last thing your business needs when your business is connected to one of the most tested sports in the world is a rider that comes to you loaded the a body full of test failing drugs.

I attach no criminality to my drug consumption but that’s neither the way the world or cycling work and in filling out my coaching questionnaire I had to be totally open and I would hate my choices to negatively affect someone’s business especially when they handle riders far better than I could even imagine being.

Being a recovering addict my choices are take opiates or smoke weed and I see the later as the lesser of the two evils, it’s not about right and wrong but it’s about my propensity for addiction and as Renton says in the T2 trailer “ find another addiction” cycling is my addiction, it always has been , I just lost sight of that in the way that drug addiction makes you lose sight of everything.

Since the conversation with James at Cyclism I’m still not taking the prescribed meds, and I’ve quit the weed which really isn’t that painful I am in constant discomfort but I can still hold 3W/k and I’m pushing for more I just need to find an holistic way of managing my pain until the NHS finally operates.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. zoeforman says:

    Sometimes medicine looks to new expensive drugs and ignores natures medicine cabinets
    Hope you get a balance between weed / modern medicine & the right coach for you.

    Like

    1. Eden Walker says:

      Sadly because i’m trying to hit the British Hour Master Women record I’m limited to what i can use but there’s a big difference in banned substances and illegal ones but both will have the same effect. Given my anti PED stance I can’t afford to fail a test at any point because I really wouldn’t like being seen in that light. The way I’ve written Wiggo, Millar, Armstrong I can’t afford to have those opinions and test dirty

      Liked by 1 person

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